As you all know I started my weight loss journey 5 years ago today with a New Years resolution to lose 20lbs. At the time I never would have imagined this resolution would end up resulting in losing a total of 70lbs and changing my life in ways words could never explain. When I look back now at each phase of my weight loss I can remember all of the numerous feelings I went through at every stage and milestone I passed. To this day I am in awe of the dedication, perseverance, and commitment I had. With today being my 5 year anniversary from starting the new me, I figured there is no better day to share the journey I went through then today.
I have pretty much been un-happy with my body since I can remember. In elementary school I recall stepping on the scale with my friends and not understanding why the number I saw below me was so much higher then everyone else’s. Mine was 3 digits, while their’s was just 2. I remember asking myself why did this happen to me? Why was I different then all of my friends? Couldn’t I just be the same? I never quite understood how your body weight worked. I always just assumed being slightly bigger was my destiny, it was in my DNA, and there was nothing I could do about it. I dreamed about being thinner. I would watch movies and idealize the tall slender girls. I would lay in bed fantasizing what it would be like to be one of them. Maybe one day my body would change and I could be like them, I could be like my friends.
As I grew older I went through various stages with my weight. I would lose 10lbs over a few months followed by gaining 15lbs back. This cycle would continue year after year resulting in a net weight gain every year. After college my body finally found a weight it decided to stay at. This was the weight I would be for the next 5 years. I was in my early to mid twenties and accepted this was where my body wanted to be at. I had a great job, fantastic family & friends, so maybe we just cant have it all. Then on a New Years Eve night 5 years ago I laid in bed crying because I felt too large to go out with friends. It was at that moment that I decided to make a change. Screw what I thought was my destiny. I would make a new body for myself.
At 15 Lbs Lost
My original goal was to lose 20lbs. The first 15 lbs came off fast, in less then 6 weeks. I was eating 1,200 calories a day and working out 3 times a week. When I hit the first 15lb loss I remember feeling this sense of amazement with myself. For the first time in my life I felt in control of my body and empowered. Waking up every morning was like Christmas Day. I was so excited to get on the scale to see the progress I was making. The lower the number got, the more it drove me to continue. I felt confident, motivated, and was dedicated to continuing to lose weight.
At 30 Lbs Lost
When I hit 30lbs down my parents came to visit. I remember picking them up at the airport and my mom looked right at me and then continued to look around for her daughter. When she finally recognized it was me her mouth dropped and she ran to give me a big hug. I felt this pride in myself I had never had before. It made the feeling even better when I saw how proud my parents were of me. It had been 3 months since I had started. At this point I was eating the same amount of calories, which to be honest left a lot of days going to bed still feeling hungry. However that slight hunger was worth what I would get out of it, weight loss. I upped the amount of time I was working out to 4-5 days a week. If I worked out more then the weight would come off just that much faster.
At 40 Lbs Lost
I went back home to Colorado for the first time. I was so excited to see all of my friends from growing up and college. I was proud of my body for the first time in my life and wanted everyone to see the hard work I was doing. I loved the positive feedback and support I received from everyone, but it was really what I felt for myself that was the most empowering. I had been working hard for 5 months. I was now addicted to fitness. Working out slowly increased to 6-7 days a week. I loved the feeling I had when I was moving. I would lay in bed at night with excitement to wake up and go running the next morning. I wanted to be in constant movement.
At 50 Lbs Lost
I started to feel like a whole new person. I had never dreamed I would lose 50lbs! It felt so good! I was becoming the girl I had laid in bed at night dreaming of becoming one day. I was confident and secure in ways I had never been before. I was ready to take on the world.
At 55 Lbs Lost
Feeling like I was a sexy bad ass at 50 lbs down, only meant I felt even more so at 55lbs. The smaller I got the longer it took the weight to come off. However just 5lbs started to make a big difference on my frame. It was at this weight I met the love of my life. For the first time I felt in love with myself, which meant I was open to loving someone else. At this point I was still working out everyday, but had slowly starting to increase my calories. It was really hard for me to start eating more. When you get used to being very restrictive with your food, you start to feel a loss of control when you allow yourself to indulge and enjoy more.
At 60 Lbs Lost
I was not intending to lose more weight, but the healthier I became the more I obsessed with having a healthy lifestyle. I cut out all splendia and diet soda, which had been a crutch for me in weight loss. I gave up a lot of processed food and really focused on making sure all of my meals were with whole and real foods. As I made these changes the weight continued to melt away. It was slow now, a 1lb-2lbs a month vs the 10lbs a month when I started. However at this point it was not as much about losing the weight as it was about giving my body the right fuel.
At 70 Lbs Lost
I never would have dreamed I would have dropped 70lbs. With every pound I dropped the sexier and more confident I felt. For the first time in my life people called me skinny and tiny. The lower the number got on the scale, the more accomplished I felt. I was in love with my new body, something I never dreamed would be possible.
The last few years I have relatively maintained my weight. There was a time where I got too skinny, yes below the 70lbs weight loss, and there are times like currently where I am a few lbs heavier then I would like to be. However at the end of the day I have been the same pant/dress size for the last 4 years, which to me equals success. Weight loss is not easy and maintenance is even harder, but for anyone who is looking to make a change I hope my story can help motivate, inspire, and prove that you can control your own destiny. You are stronger then you know you are and your body is capable of anything. So if today is the first day of a new healthier you, believe in yourself. You can do it!