Breaking Up With My Scale


For most of my life I had no relationship with the bathroom scale. I never monitored my weight, I had no desire to. Although I have always dealt with body issues and weight problems, I never could bring myself to step onto the scale and face the reality check that awaited me. Even at my heaviest weight when I decided for the first time I needed to make a change, I could not bring myself to look at the number. Like a coward I made my mother look at the scale for me on the first day of my first attempt at losing weight 9 years ago. For the next 5 months I dedicated my days to working out and was convinced that was all I needed to do in order to lose weight. Why did I need to know what that number was? I worked out 5 days a week, but proceeded to lose very little. Of course it is hard to track progress without some sort of tool so if I was not going to step onto the scale I would have to go by my pant size. After continuing to stay about the same size months in I just accepted this higher weight was my destiny and that I had no control over my body.  I would have to learn how to accept and love the larger me.

Fast forward to over 4 years later and here I was, 26 years old and still feeling a hatred for my body. I would have weekends where it was hard to get out of bed and face the world.  Putting pants on made me sad and depressed. Going out with friends left me feeling low because I was not nearly as thin as they were. I hated feeling like I could be happier, but feeling powerless to get there.  It was then on New Year’s Eve 2010 I made a decision. For the first time in over 15 years I stepped onto the scale and decided I could in fact make a change.

For the next 6 months the scale became my best friend. I would exercise, eat well, and the next morning I would wake up so excited to see what my new friend had to say to me. It was like Christmas, I could sometimes hardly sleep in anticipation of seeing what my hard work would pay off to be.

Once I hit weight maintenance my relationship with the scale started to change again. It became more of a love/hate relationship.  Some days it would reward me, while other days I felt punished. After a weekend celebrating out with friends I would cringe on Monday morning to step onto the scale. Was I going to see a number I liked or one I hated? It took me a while to be able to learn my body and become in tune with my weight. I would fluctuate 5 lbs any given month, but for 2 years I stayed within my designated range. I started to accept my friend for what it was, matter of fact.  Some days it would make me feel good other days discouraged, but overall I worked to not let it control me.  It gave me information and it was my job to interrupt it for myself.

About 5 months ago the scale and I started to have a fight. The number on it started to slowly inch up. Why would my friend start to betray me? Nothing had really changed. My eating habits and workout routines were the same, maybe a little more weight training. Could it be muscle? Was it something else? Why would one day my body no longer do what it has been doing for years?  My pants all still fit about the same, so why would my weight be up so much?

This has been my new struggle as of late. For the first time in 4 years I feel I have no control over my body. When you spend so much time learning what your body is telling you and how to make it feel good, how do you handle it when your body revolts?

First I need to trust that I am doing everything right. I am working out daily and eating healthy, so why does a number matter? For the first time in 4 years I have decided I need to take a break from what once was my friend and confidant, the scale. Let me say this so far has not been easy. I continue to try, but yet my friend finds its way back into my life every so often.  I guess these things take time. A date with my scale once every couple weeks is far better than my once daily check in. With time maybe I will learn to get rid of my co-dependent friend. Until then I will have to learn that a number is just that a number.

Rotation Diet-Day 4

photo 1

Last night I did not sleep as well as I have the last 2 nights. It was more like a usual night for me where I wake up multiple times and cant seem to stay asleep. Overall I think Day 3 has been my hardest so far. I felt hungry and un-satisfied for most of the day. It was either the food I ate or the combination of them that left my stomach grumbly and off. All of this combined leads me to say I am glad today is my last day on rotation! I know you are supposed to do these type of diets for at least 6 weeks to really get a good base line and to see how your body responds to a new program. For me this will be the end of it. I am so excited to get back to regular programming tomorrow!

photo 2

This morning I started my day with a 4 1/2 mile run followed by an hour of body pump. Usually when I do this combo on Thursday’s it is a breeze. Today was really hard. My body felt weak and tired. I am not sure if it is from what I ate yesterday, or from this week, or just an off day. Either way I am hoping tomorrow will be better.  Breakfast today consisted of a massive amount of watermelon, cantaloupe, and honeydew melon. I am finding the fruit with more water in them fill me up a lot more then some of the other types.


  • 2 cups of Watermelon
  • 1 cup of Cantaloupe
  • 1 cup of Honeydew melon
  • 1 cup of coffee with steamed almond milk

photo 3

By lunch time I was craving protein. I had made acorn squash, but grabbed some salmon lox at the breakfast bar to eat along with it. Actually lunch ended up hitting the spot and I have felt satisfied all day! I didn’t even need an afternoon pick me up, which lately is un-heard of.


  • 4 oz of Lox Salmon
  • 1/2 baked acorn squash with brown sugar and salt
  • 2 small beets
  • 1/2 cup grilled summer squash
  • 3 glazed pecans for dessert

photo 4 photo 5

For dinner it was all about Salmon and squash again. I have to say dinner totally hit the spot! Today my body felt really good with the food choices. I have been content and happy all day. After every meal I felt full, I did not crave snacks, and I was able to sustain energy.


  • 4oz of Atlantic Salmon with sea salt and a drizzle of maple
  • 1 large summer squash made into spaghetti with a little olive oil and garlic salt
  • 8 Okra pods baked
  • 2 oz of sake

All in all here is what I liked and disliked about the rotation diet.

I liked that I was able to eat different things every day. It was nice to see what foods my body responded well to and which ones it struggled with. It was good to stop my snacking habit and focus on full satisfying meals. It was also nice to cut out processed foods and emphasize protein, veggies, and fruit. I also was happy with the added sleep from the week.

What I disliked was all of the food prep. There was a lot of thought and energy that went into every night with planning meals for the next day. It was also expensive. Since I could  not eat leftovers I had to buy a lot of different food to last throughout the week. Even with stocking up at the farmers market on Sunday it did not sustain all my meals.  Lastly it was hard to tell myself no to something healthy I was craving, aka like grapes and greek yogurt, because it was not the right day.

What I am taking away from this experience is it is good to force myself to vary my food more often. Even if it is just alternating breakfast every other day. I also like knowing what foods pair well together, which I can try and be mindful of when making meal choices going forward. Would I do this again, absolutely. Am I glad it is done tomorrow and I can go to happy hour to enjoy whatever healthy meal I want. Yep, I cant wait! I see wine, cheese, and bread in my near future.

Rotation Diet-Day 3

photo 2

This morning I woke up again to another amazing night of sleep! In the future I really need to remind myself how every time I go to have a late night snack it is going to affect me for the rest of the night. Because let me say, after sleeping well for two nights in a row it makes a huge difference to your day. I did wake up hungry, which is not typical for me. However I am not a fan of eating before working out, so I waited to eat breakfast till after my Barre class when I had made my way into the office.  I did start the morning cheating again with coffee from my favorite coffee shop Philz. Although I did make sure to use almond milk instead of dairy, so I am giving myself credit there. Today breakfast consisted of fruit and roasted sweet potatoes. I felt satisfied, but was definitely ready for lunch by noon.


  • 1 cup of pineapple
  • 1 plum
  • 1 medium roasted sweet potato with salt and a little brown sugar

photo 5

After preparing not only dinner last night, but also the sweet potatoes for this morning I had no energy to make something else for lunch. I was able to find a 3 bean salad at the grocery store and went to the salad bar at work and through together some tofu and beans for another snack. All in all it tasted pretty good and I did manage to feel full by the end of it. But by early afternoon my stomach was upset and gurgling for the rest of the day. Not sure if it was from what I ate or just the combination of foods.


  • 1/2 cup 3 bean salad from Molli Stones (consisted of red onion, green beans, garbanzo beans, and kidney beans)
  • 1 cup of firm tofu, garbanzo beans, black beans, kidney beans, and red onion with salt and pepper

photo 1

By afternoon I was in need of a snack. I grabbed a few almonds and ate a pluot along with some pineapple. However my mouth started to feel the acidity from the fruit and I was not able to eat it all. I ended up having to grab an afternoon coffee for a pick me up to make it through the rest of the day.


  • 1/2 cup of pineapple
  • 1 pluot
  • 8 almonds

photo 3

For dinner I ended up cheating again with a small glass of wine. However I figure I have been 100% on with the food, so a cheat drink is ok. After a long day of work happy hour was in order. I did make a delicious dinner of fish, asparagus, and had the rest of my leftover sweet potato. It was yummy, filling, and left me feeling completely content. Now I am getting ready to have half a glass of almond milk and a piece of dark chocolate for dessert. Only 1 more day to go!


  • 4 oz of Sole baked with salt and pepper
  • 8 spears of Asparagus with salt and garlic powder
  • 1 medium baked sweet potato

Rotation Diet- Day 2

photo 1

Today was hard. I thought it was going to be the easiest day out of the four days because a lot of the foods I usually eat are options for day 2. However all day long I felt like I was hungry and battling cravings. The day started well. I woke up after the best night of sleep I have had in a long time, which I am contributing to my clean eating yesterday.  I went to spinning class and then made my way to work. I did grab a cup of coffee with almond milk, which is not approved on rotation day 2. However I decided coffee is my one non-negotiable. Breakfast consisted of the below and did fill me up. I used to eat oatmeal and apples everyday for breakfast for years. So I know this is a good go to for my body.


  • 1 cup Steel Cut Oatmeal with a tablespoon of brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg
  • 1 Large Gala Apple
  • 1 cup of coffee with steamed almond milk

photo 3

By lunchtime I was starving and ready to eat. I made an open faced sandwich and paired it with one of my favorites an asian pear. This meal totally hit the spot craving wise. The turkey was salty and mixed with the creamy avocado tasted very decadent. The pear was a perfect sweet add on and since it was from the farmers market this weekend it was delicious to say the least.


  • 2 Toasted Slices of Flax Seed Bread. I used the Alvarado type which is 100 calories for 2 slices
  • 1/4 an avocado
  • 3 oz smokey turkey deli meat
  • 1 Asian Pear

photo 2

However only a short while later I was starving and craving something sweet. Of course it took all my restriction to not eat the danish in our work area, so I walked myself over to the market and bought some fresh berries. I proceeded to eat the entire container throughout the rest of the day.  By the time 5:00 hit I was again starving and could not wait to get home. Of course traffic was a nightmare so by the time I walked into my house I had to eat something immediately. Now usually I would go to one of my favorite snacks grapes with a handful of crackers and cheese, but since these foods were not on my approved list today I restricted myself, which of course then made me annoyed. Instead I grabbed some hazelnuts and started to prep dinner along with meals for tomorrow.


  • 8 oz of Strawberries, Blueberries, and Raspberries
  • 8 Hazelnuts


Dinner consisted of chicken, millet, and cauliflower. I ate a pretty good sized portion, actually way more than I usually eat and by the end of it I still felt not quite satisfied. All I wanted was to have a piece of the homemade pumpkin bread that was calling my name from the fridge. Again I reminded myself I could commit to this for 4 days and that it will not be forever.  Fingers crossed tomorrow is an easier day for hunger and cravings.


  • 4 oz of baked chicken with tumeric, salt, and oregano
  • 1/2 cup cooked millet
  • 1/2 head of cauliflower
  • 1/4 of Avocado


Rotation Diet- Day 1

photo 3

I don’t know about you, but every now and again I find myself in a situation where I have indulged more than I would have wanted to. It is one party or event after another and no matter how good I usually am I find yourself continuing to have a couple of drinks, a piece of dessert, or that late night slice of pizza. Since I eat healthy most of the time I can really feel it when I have eaten poorly too often and frequently. I start to feel lethargic, bloated, and it even affects how I sleep. After this last weekend celebrating the marriage of my best friend and binge eating more then I have in months, I decided I needed a re-boot.

photo 2

One of the benefits of having your boyfriend as a personal trainer, is your home is filled with interesting books on fitness and health. On a bored night a couple of weeks ago I picked up  the book “How to Eat, Move, and Be Healthy” by Paul Chek. Dustin raves about this book, so I thought why not take a look. In the very back of the book Paul describes a rotation diet, which was the first I had ever heard of this type of diet. Since I read so many books on nutrition I was surprised there was something completely new to me.

photo 1

The premise of a rotation diet is  you alternate the foods you eat daily for 4 days in order to help identify food intolerance’s, detoxify your body, help your digestive system get back on track, and can even help to lose weight. “To follow the rotation diet, eat only the foods listed on that particular day. You may have those foods as many times as you like on that particular day, but then you should not consume any of those foods.” Foods are grouped together based on  their food families and because they share similar protein structures and are therefore digested similarly by our bodies.

photo 4

The link here provides a good explanation of the Rotation Diet along with how each day breaks out in terms of food. I decided I can at least try this out for 1 full rotation, aka 4 days, and see how it goes. Today was day 1 for me. I have to say the hardest part so far has been the meal prep. Yesterday I had to go to the farmers market and then the grocery store to stock up on enough various fruits, veggies, and meats. Last night also required cooking meals in advance for today. Overall though I have to say so far so good. I have felt full and satisfied after each meal without that urge to snack out of control, which is something I always struggle with. I almost never eat red meat so eating it tonight tasted amazing and just what my body needed. I am excited to see how I sleep tonight and how I feel tomorrow morning. So I am sure you are wondering what  my meals consisted of today, well below breaks it all down. However I do want to note I am a grazer so there may have been some grapes or cherry tomatoes popped throughout the day outside of what I listed below.


  • 1 small banana
  • 1/2 cup of grapes
  • 1/2 cup of mango
  • Coffee with cream


  • Half of an Eggplant baked with tomato sauce and mozzarella
  • 2 small red potatoes and eggplant baked with dill
  • 1 pan fried plantain


  • 1/2 cup of grapes
  • 1/2 cup of mango
  • 1 oz of cheese


  • 5 oz Ground beef, bell pepper, lettuce tacos
  • 1 sliced tomato with sprinkled sea salt

What is Healthy?

photo 2

What is healthy? I think the first thing that comes to most people’s minds with being healthy is wanting to lose weight. Maybe it is the last 10 lbs after just having a baby or getting back to your perceived ideal body weight before a big event. Being healthy can just be getting back on track with food and trying to eat more fruits and vegetables. It can also be just wanting to get into better shape, increase muscle mass, or just get into a regular exercise routine. Then there is striving to hit a goal like running your first marathon or climbing to the top of that 14er mountain you always wanted to. However my question is what if you are doing all of the right things, eating well, working out daily, getting enough sleep, but is it possible you could still not be healthy?

This is the new question I have been asking myself recently. I would say I eat healthy 80% of the time. I work out daily, sometimes even twice a day if I am being honest with everyone. I try to go to bed early every night  in order to get enough sleep. So why would I be questioning if I am healthy? Well let me explain. Over the last 6-9 months I found my life started to get a little stressful. We all run into this as adults right. Where all of a sudden things you were not expecting just smack you in the face and all of a sudden you feel like you are paddling upstream and are just doing your best to maintain a balance. We all figure out ways to cope with the added life stress, for some that is with food, others it may be shopping, but for me it is exercise. I exercise to relieve stress and to put me in a good mental state. The more stressed I become the more I want to move my body. This is not a bad thing, except you have to make sure you are balancing out your energy expenditure with enough food in order to sustain the new added activity.

Through the years I have become a lot better at balancing eating what I know my body needs with what my body craves in order to not binge. I am not perfect and I know learning this balancing act will be ongoing for me, but at least as long as I continue to make progress that is really what is important. So again, where am I going with this.  I found over the last 9  months the one thing I was not doing was eating enough to support my additional movement and exercise. Without trying to I ended up losing a few pounds.

What is a few pounds right? Well for someone already at the bottom of their weight range a few pounds can make a big difference. Once I lost the few pounds unintentionally  it created a viscous cycle in my head. For someone who has trained themselves for years that weight loss is a good thing and weight gain is bad, seeing a lower number on the scale felt like a new accomplishment even though I had gotten to a weight that I knew was not healthy for my body or sustainable.  I had a few close people in my life come and tell me that I had gotten to that “scary skinny” place and wanted to make sure I was aware. Let me just say now how much I love having people in my life that will tell me those hard things to hear.

So what does this all mean? It means we spend a lot of time focusing on how losing weight, eating healthy, and exercising more are all healthy things. Yes they are. Being healthy can also be listening to your body and learning when to pull it back. Right now for the first time in almost 4 years I am actually learning how to accept gaining weight as a good thing and that for me this is healthy. It continues to be interesting to me how much our mental state dictates our relationships with ourselves. Now having put back on those pounds I did not mean to lose I am more satisfied with my appearance. It is important to remind ourselves a number is only a number. At the end of the day it all comes down to how we feel. I am still a work in progress, but wanted to share my story.

Burn Extra Calories During The Day, Here Are 10 Tips on How

Let’s face it, we all just sit more now then we used to. We sit on our commute to and from work, we sit at the office all day, then we come home and sit in front of the TV. In an era where it so so easy to sit all day you have to work harder in order to move your body more. I have found some easy ways to move my body throughout the day which ultimately helps me to burn extra calories all day long. None of these tips seem like life changing events, but if you do them daily they will make a change to your body over an extended period of time. Of course nothing will replace exercise completely, but every change you make can make an impact to your overall health.



10 Tips on How

1. Always take the stairs. No matter how tired you are or how much longer you think the stairs will take you, just walk up them.  I find at work when I take the stairs and someone else takes the elevator 9 times out of 10 the stairs end up always being faster.

2. Park  in the farthest parking spot you can find and walk. It might add a little extra time, but those extra steps every time you park far away can quickly add up. I also park at least one street over from my morning coffee spot in order to just get some extra steps in the morning before work.

3. Find opportunities for quick cardio bursts. I lift my legs and do high knees while brushing my teeth, I run in place while I blow dry my hair, and I hop around and dance while I vacuum, fold my laundry, or any other household chores.

4. Find time to cook more. Not only does cooking more help with eating better, but chopping, stirring, and mixing all help to burn extra calories. Plus you are also standing while you cook, which also helps burn additional calories.

5. Walk more. I have a problem with snacking when I get home from work so I try to use this time to take the dog on a longer walk. I also like to go on walks when I am talking on the phone. It is a good way to move your body while you do not even realize you are moving.  A walk to catch up with friends or co-workers is another great thing to incorporate in your day to day routine.

6. Stand up more. Stand while you are on the phone at work or at home. Stand at your dining table while you read through mail or browse online. Stand while waiting for an appointment, stand on the subway or bus, just anytime you have the ability to stand instead of sit do it.

7. Keep things farther away so you have to get up and in order to get them. For instance don’t use your remote control for the TV, make yourself get up and change the channel. When serving dinner leave everything in the kitchen. If you want more you will need to get back up and walk over in order to get more.

8. Fidget more. Tap your toes, dance around, pace back and forth. People who fidget a lot can burn up to an extra 300-350 calories a day just by doing small movements all day long.

9. Dance more. I for one love dancing as a way to get me out of a bad mood or as a way to relieve stress. 20 minutes of dancing can burn up to an extra 100 calories. The beauty of dancing is you can dance solo around your house or go out with girlfriends for a night on the town. This is a fun way to exercise.

10. Shop more. I like to grocery shop most nights as it helps me just walk more. I will walk the store a few times back and forth just to get extra steps in. Also this way I am hopefully not over buying groceries and instead I am just getting what I need for the night or next day.

Warm Weather Exercise Tips

For those of you who are not already aware I am currently in the process of becoming a Barre instructor at my favorite studio in San Francisco Avant-Barre! Don’t worry, I plan on blogging all about it. As part of my training I am getting certified in group fitness through ACE, the American Council of Exercise. In my process of studying for the ACE exam I thought it would not only help me with preparing, but could also benefit others to share some interesting tips and information as I find it. With that below is my first tip, enjoy!


With the summer months just kicking off and with the extended days in the sun it is only natural we all want to get out of the gym and make our way outside to exercise. Nothing beats a nice early morning run with the sun, the fresh flowers in bloom, and the nice summer air upon us. However when working out in the heat there are a few things you want to keep in mind in order to make sure you are keeping yourself safe and well.


1. When you  begin to exercise in the heat it is important to make sure you are doing it gradually. To become acclimated to exercising in the heat it takes about 7-10 days. Therefore you want to make sure you start exercising slowly each day and gradually working your way up with time.

2. Make sure to always wear lightweight, well ventilated, and light colored clothing while exercising in the sun. The light colored clothing will reflect the sun better than darker colors which will ultimately help to keep you cooler.

3. Never wear non-breathable or impermeable garments. The idea of wearing these types of clothes (ie. a rubber suit for example) in order to help with weight loss is just a myth. The change in weight is solely due to fluid loss and not fat loss and can be very dangerous to one’s health.

4. Replace body fluids as they are lost. Drink fluids at regular intervals while working out, however be careful to avoid over-hydration which can be just as dangerous as being dehydrated. Consumption of smaller amounts of fluid frequently is the best practice and sticking to water over sports drinks.

5. Recording daily body weight is an excellent way to prevent accumulative dehydration. For example if someone loses 5 lbs of water weight after exercising then that same amount of water should be re-gained before exercising again the next day. If you do not replenish the same amount of water that has not been lost then make sure to tail back your workout the next day until you are back.

6. Air Movement is critical for being able to help cool ones self off. If there is limited air movement (for example exercising in a gym with no fans) the micro climate next to the body can actually become the same temperature as the body itself. This will prevent adequate heat loss and can therefore put you at risk for a heat injury. So make sure to have fans going if you are inside or a a slight breeze if outside.

Hope this was helpful and now everyone get outside and move your body!


Cereal, My Binge Worthy Food. What is Yours?


You know that food, the one for whatever reason makes you lose all self-control? You tell yourself you are only going to have one bite, a handful, or even one bowl. However the moment you start you just can’t resist it. You feel your ability to control your actions all of a sudden out the window and the temptation is too great. The next thing you know you have eaten way more than you were intending or even wanting to.

For myself I am lucky. My binge worthy food is not potato chips, it is not French fries, and it is not even cookies or ice cream, its cereal.  All of these other foods are delicious and I do on occasion eat way too much of them at a party or special occasion. However through my weight loss process I was able to learn how these foods made me feel when I did indulge too much and I have been able to develop a pretty good relationship with them. Now I see them as an occasional indulgence and I am usually satisfied with a bite or two.

For me the one food that makes me lose all of my normal self-control from the moment I start is cereal, which for me is my after dinner indulgence. So this is where I consider myself lucky. Cereal in reality is really not that bad for you, well depending on the kind you buy. Which I have scoured through grocery stores, counting calories, and looking at nutrition labels to find splurge worthy cereal that would not break my “Calorie Bank” so to speak.  I partner my healthy cereal finds with Almond Milk, which I love, to even help lower the overall calorie count.

After finishing a big bowl of cereal I will feel nice and full. However this is where the problem starts. I am full, but I want more. I go back and fill up another bowl. Again after finishing I feel even more full and satisfied, but I still want more. Sometimes I am able to control the urge, but more often than not I keep giving into the craving and the next thing I know I have eaten way more than I wanted.

In order to help reduce the amount of cereal I was eating, I started thinking of ways to help fool myself into thinking I was eating more then I truly was. I learned I always wanted seconds with cereal. Instead of pouring one big bowl and then going back for a second large bowl, I started breaking my first big bowl into two portions. This way I would think I was having seconds when in reality I ended up only having only one bowl. Next I started to eat my cereal out of a smaller bowl so my mind would think it was eating more than it really was. I found it to be much more satisfying to see my bowl filled to the top then just a small portion in a larger bowl. It is interesting how your mind perceives portions. Next I started to add in blueberries or other fruit to help fill up less on the cereal and get in an extra serving of fruit.

Through all of my tricks I found I was able to slowly reduce the amount of binge eating I did with cereal. These small tweaks ended up making a huge difference to my perception. Even though I have been able to reduce the amount I am eating, I still feel like I use cereal to curb something else at the end of the night. I eat it out of habit, not out of hunger or need. Now I am working on trying to slowly wean myself off of my late night treat. It has been officially 3 weeks since I have had a bowl of the great stuff. The first week was hard, trying to find something else to do after dinner to occupy my time. Tea has been a life saver! However now 3 weeks in I feel like I may have taken control of the habit. However time will tell 🙂